The Most Obnoxious Toy Ever

Andrew has quite a few obnoxious toys, including a drum set that my brother gave him for Christmas (thanks alot Larry), a fire engine, and a jet. But the most obnoxious toy that he owns was given to him at Halloween by my mother. It is a pig. A rather ugly stuffed pig that plays the theme song to the Addam's Family, with accompanying oinks, when you push its foot. And it plays the song loudly. At a headache inducing volume. But that is not what makes this toy obnoxious. What makes it obnoxious is the fact that is squeals like a stuck pig when you pull on its tail. Andrew, of course, loves to grab the tail and swing it back and forth with it squealing loudly the entire time. It sounds like you are trapped in some Arkansas hillbilly hell or stuck in the movie "Deliverance" with Ned Beatty squealing like a pig. High-pitched and loud, it is truly the worst sound ever.

Andrew, as I said, loves the damn pig and especially loves to make it squeal. I hid it a few times, but he always managed to find it. Finally, blessedly, the batteries gave out. I was elated. "So sorry baby but the batteries are dead." I thought that was the end of it. And then my Benedict Arnold of a husband betrayed me.

Now, Adam knows I hate that pig. There is no doubt about it. So you can imagine my surprise when he turned up in the kitchen yesterday evening with the pig in hand and Andrew right behind him. "What are you doing?" I asked. "It needs new batteries," he replied. I reply that I think we are out of batteries and Andrew pipes up as he opens one of the kitchen drawers "Here batteries Daddy." That kid is entirely too observant for his own good.

So this morning when Andrew wakes up at 6:00 am, what is the first toy he grabs. That damn pig. There is nothing like hearing a squealing pig before you have had your first cup of coffee. And where is the love of my life, Adam? Buried under the covers in our bedroom. I can't decide if I should just leave the pig on Andrew's chair to find first thing tomorrow morning when Adam gets Andrew out of bed or to let Andrew wake him up with it's squealing one morning. Paybacks are hell...