My Heathen Child No More

Yesterday, we had Andrew baptized...finally. It took us 3 years but we finally got it done and what an experience it was. Allow me to explain. I am Catholic, Adam is not. Having Andrew baptized in the Catholic Church would have meant attending a series of classes, something my husband was not going to do. I am cool with that. But then how do we get Andrew baptized? It took me a while, but I finally figured it out. Our friend Jeff has a childhood friend who is a Lutheran minister and he was willing to baptize Andrew for us. Hallelujah!

So yesterday, we went to a local church to baptize Andrew. As my mother remarked, "There is a reason children are baptized when they are 2 months old." Yes, there is. It was chaos.

Let me set the scene. We are in the sanctuary of a very nice church. My parents and Adam's parents are there. Our best friends, Jeff and Cheryl and there 3-year old son, Tanner, are there. The minister, Eric is there along with his wife and 3-year old son, Ford. Now if you are paying attention you will have noted that there are three 3-year old boys in the same room. That is not a prescription for orderly and quiet.

During the first part of the service, Andrew's participation wasn't really needed so we let him play with the two other boys (in the chair, out of the chair, up the aisle, down the aisle). But then we got to the actual baptism part and Andrew was definitely needed. So Adam drags Andrew out from under the chair and carries him to the baptismal font. At that moment my adorable son starts screaming at the top of his lungs "I no want any water! No water! I no want water!" and struggling to get out of Adam's arm. Eric finally manages to get some water on Andrew's head. I was praying Andrew wouldn't start screaming "It burns! It burns!"

Then Jeff lights the ceremonial candle and brings it over to Adam and I. Andrew has been to plenty of birthday parties lately and knows just what to do with candles so he takes and big breath and blows. Adam just manages to get his hand in front of Andrew's mouth. Three times Andrew tries to blow out the candle.

Then we get to the part where Eric annoints Andrew with oil. Andrew screams "NO!" and buries his head in Adam's shoulder. God bless Eric, he remained calm, stepped around behind Adam and marked Andrew's forehead. It was a good thing he has a 3-year old son and knew what to expect.

So finally the ceremony ends and we all went off for dinner. I can only be glad that there were a limited number of witnesses and all of them were laughing.

As my mother said "There's a reason children are baptized when they are 2 month old." Because it is utter chaos if you wait until they are three.

Why Me?

It happens in every parent's life, so I can't say I didn't know it was coming. I was just unprepared for it's arrival. And when it finally happened to me...well, you'll see. So what am I babbling on about. I am talking about my child discovering the power of the word "Why."

Yes, "why" has become Andrew's favorite new word. He uses it every time you tell him to do something and, I swear, my head is going to explode soon. You all know what I am talking about. If you are a parent, you have had first hand experience. If you are not a parent, I am sure you have seen a movie with a little kid who constantly asks why. Seriously, it is driving me bonkers. Witness the following exchange:

Me: Andrew, get your shoes on.
Andrew: Why?
Me: Because we are going to the grocery store.
Andrew: Why?
Me: Because we need to buy groceries.
Andrew: Why?
Me: Because we need food to eat or we will get hungry.
Andrew: Why? (Are you kidding me, this is the kid who whines if dinner isn't ready when he walks in the door from school)
Me: Because food makes our bodies go.
Andrew: Why?
Me: Get your ass in the car or so help me I am going to beat you!
Andrew: Why?
and BOOOM! my head explodes.