An Answer to the Question Why

As I wrote a couple of weeks ago, Andrew has discovered the word why and, quite frankly, he was driving me nuts. Every statement was met with "Why?" You would answer the question and he would just ask why again. Over and over again.

Well the other night at dinner, my brilliant husband figured out how to stop the whys. It's quite simple. The answer to the question why must be long and, preferably, contain some really big words.

That evening, as we were eating dinner one of us mentioned the sunlight. So Andrew starts looking out the window at the sun. Adam told him to stop looking at the sun and get back in his seat. Andrew, of course, asked "Why?". Adam responded it was bad for your eyes. Andrew again asked why. And Adam offers the following explanation:

Because the sun emits photons and ultraviolet rays and when you look at the sun the photons and ultraviolet rays enter your eye through the iris and bounce off the back of your eye and can burn your retina.

Andrew sat there for about 5 seconds and then said, in a knowing tone, "Oooooooooooh. Okay." And continued eating dinner.

Did I mention that the answer to the question why could be complete bullshit?

My Heathen Child No More

Yesterday, we had Andrew baptized...finally. It took us 3 years but we finally got it done and what an experience it was. Allow me to explain. I am Catholic, Adam is not. Having Andrew baptized in the Catholic Church would have meant attending a series of classes, something my husband was not going to do. I am cool with that. But then how do we get Andrew baptized? It took me a while, but I finally figured it out. Our friend Jeff has a childhood friend who is a Lutheran minister and he was willing to baptize Andrew for us. Hallelujah!

So yesterday, we went to a local church to baptize Andrew. As my mother remarked, "There is a reason children are baptized when they are 2 months old." Yes, there is. It was chaos.

Let me set the scene. We are in the sanctuary of a very nice church. My parents and Adam's parents are there. Our best friends, Jeff and Cheryl and there 3-year old son, Tanner, are there. The minister, Eric is there along with his wife and 3-year old son, Ford. Now if you are paying attention you will have noted that there are three 3-year old boys in the same room. That is not a prescription for orderly and quiet.

During the first part of the service, Andrew's participation wasn't really needed so we let him play with the two other boys (in the chair, out of the chair, up the aisle, down the aisle). But then we got to the actual baptism part and Andrew was definitely needed. So Adam drags Andrew out from under the chair and carries him to the baptismal font. At that moment my adorable son starts screaming at the top of his lungs "I no want any water! No water! I no want water!" and struggling to get out of Adam's arm. Eric finally manages to get some water on Andrew's head. I was praying Andrew wouldn't start screaming "It burns! It burns!"

Then Jeff lights the ceremonial candle and brings it over to Adam and I. Andrew has been to plenty of birthday parties lately and knows just what to do with candles so he takes and big breath and blows. Adam just manages to get his hand in front of Andrew's mouth. Three times Andrew tries to blow out the candle.

Then we get to the part where Eric annoints Andrew with oil. Andrew screams "NO!" and buries his head in Adam's shoulder. God bless Eric, he remained calm, stepped around behind Adam and marked Andrew's forehead. It was a good thing he has a 3-year old son and knew what to expect.

So finally the ceremony ends and we all went off for dinner. I can only be glad that there were a limited number of witnesses and all of them were laughing.

As my mother said "There's a reason children are baptized when they are 2 month old." Because it is utter chaos if you wait until they are three.

Why Me?

It happens in every parent's life, so I can't say I didn't know it was coming. I was just unprepared for it's arrival. And when it finally happened to me...well, you'll see. So what am I babbling on about. I am talking about my child discovering the power of the word "Why."

Yes, "why" has become Andrew's favorite new word. He uses it every time you tell him to do something and, I swear, my head is going to explode soon. You all know what I am talking about. If you are a parent, you have had first hand experience. If you are not a parent, I am sure you have seen a movie with a little kid who constantly asks why. Seriously, it is driving me bonkers. Witness the following exchange:

Me: Andrew, get your shoes on.
Andrew: Why?
Me: Because we are going to the grocery store.
Andrew: Why?
Me: Because we need to buy groceries.
Andrew: Why?
Me: Because we need food to eat or we will get hungry.
Andrew: Why? (Are you kidding me, this is the kid who whines if dinner isn't ready when he walks in the door from school)
Me: Because food makes our bodies go.
Andrew: Why?
Me: Get your ass in the car or so help me I am going to beat you!
Andrew: Why?
and BOOOM! my head explodes.

We are Family

When I was growing up, we spent every other weekend and many major holidays at my grandparents' farm. Grandma and Grandpa had five kids (one of whom is my father) and 13 grandkids. Eight of us were close in age. In fact, 6 of us are separated by 6 years, with approximately a year between us. My cousins (Rob, Scott, Chris, Deanise, Nicki and Vicki) were also frequently at the farm. As a result, I have many fond memories of weekends spent with my cousins. We pretty much had free run of the farm. I can remember mud fights, rides on the tractor, hours spent playing in the barn, and terrorizing the resident wild animals with our BB guns. I don't think anything was ever wounded (except for Scott), but we sure shot at a lot of things.

However, since Grandma passed away in 2000, I have seen my family less and less. In fact, I haven't seen some of my cousins since before Andrew was born. I have been harassing various people about having a family reunion for quite awhile but with no success. Well, I managed to get them all in the same room at the same time after my brother's wedding and insisted that we needed a get together. The combined authority of Aunt JoAnn and Aunt Patsy was too much and we picked a day for a family reunion. It just so happened to be this past Saturday.

So on Saturday, we all trekked down to the farm. Now, in case you don't live in Texas, we had quite a bit of rain this past weekend. In fact, they got over 7 inches at the farm between Friday morning and Saturday morning. It was incredibly muddy down home. We had a great time.

As is required at all family reunions, there was more food than we could possibly eat. The kids crawled all over the hay in the barn. Scott, Chris and I discussed the merits of square bales over round bales (square bales are much more movable and perfect for building forts). I got to talk to all of my cousins and see their kids (2 of whom I was meeting for the first time). There were rides on the gator and four-wheeler and, once the soon came out, a hay ride. There was also playing in the mud.

I have often been saddened by the fact that Andrew's cousins live in Ann Arbor and that he will not have the wonderful memories of family that I have. But for a brief time this weekend, Andrew got to experience some of my childhood memories (including being helped up the hay by his second cousin Brian while Brian refused to help his own brother Matthew--boy does that sound familiar).

Everything at the family reunion may have been coated in mud and slightly damp, but it was absolutely perfect.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-change....

It's funny how a single event (or series of events) can lead to multiple changes in our lives. Last week, for example, had led to a few big changes in my life. In case I haven't spoken to you recently, last week was a pretty crappy week and that is putting it mildly. My mother was sick the beginning part of the week and then, Wednesday night, I came down with a really nasty gastro-intestinal virus and ended up in the emergency room, after passing out twice, hooked up to an IV because I was dehydrated (I think Adam was little freaked out by the passing out). It was not a good week. And then I worked all weekend (when I probably should have been at home). Those events have led to 3 changes in my life, some bigger than others.

First, I have a new, deep appreciation for water and seem to constantly be thirsty. I am drinking way more water now than I did before the illness. I don't know if this is a lingering effect of the dehydration or simply something wrong with my head (keep your comments to yourself), but I seem to be thirsty all of the time. I probably didn't drink enough water before so this is a good thing.

Second, I lost about 6-7 pounds in 24 hours. While I would never recommend a gastro-intestinal virus as part of a weight loss program, it worked for me (I could probably bottle it and sell it to models/actresses...hmmmm). I decided to take advantage of the sudden and unexpected weight loss and began a diet/exercise program. I am using the Wii Fit program (so much fun) and watching what I eat. We will see how it goes.

And finally, I decided to quit my job. Trying to juggle a job, care for my family (and myself), and not put too much stress on Adam was too much. When I quit my career 2 years ago, it was because I wanted to spend more time with my family and be there to take care of them. Last week, after being at the hospital with my mom for part of the week, being in the hospital myself, and Adam having to miss work 3 days in a row to take care of Andrew and me, I then had to work all weekend. Instead of taking it easy over the weekend and giving Adam a little down time (and time to catch up on work), I was at a job that I don't really need. I suddenly remembered that my family is the most important thing in my life. Clearly, it was time to realign my priorities. And so I did.

So beware the next time you catch a stomach virus, it could lead to more changes than you ever anticipated.

The Zoo through the Eyes of a 3 year old

Yesterday, we took Andrew to the San Antonio Zoo for his 3rd birthday. I love the zoo and I was so excited. San Antonio is about 1 and 1/2 hours from our house and the zoo opens at 9:00 so we left at 7:00 am. Bright and happy we set off for the zoo, singing "We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo" by Raffi and talking about the animals we would see. Then we got stuck in traffic and missed the exit and it ended up taking us 2 and 1/2 hours to get there. Did I mention Andrew whined for the last hour of the drive about how he wanted out of his seat or he wanted to go back home? Forget waterboarding, if you want a confession from someone just lock them in a small space with a whiny 3-year old for an hour. I would have admitted to any number of sins just to get out of that car.

So we finally get to the zoo, hop out of the car and notice all of the school buses there from a local junior high. That's right, a bunch of hormonal 7 and 8th graders with bad attitudes and, if you ask me, even worse taste in clothes. So we hung out in the gift shop for a few minutes to let the school kids move on.

Finally, we get to the first animal exhibit and it's a bear! So exciting! "Andrew look at the bear! Do you see the bear??!!" Andrew then says back, somewhat excitedly, "Mommy, poo! Poo poo in there! Need to clean up." Poo? Seriously? Yes, upon seeing a live bear, my child commented on the excrement in the space. I mean, the bear is cool and all, but will you look at all of that poo.

This became a recurring theme for the remainder of the trip. "Look at the elephant Andrew!" "Daddy, poo poo in there. Need to clean up." "Andrew, do you see the rhino?" "Look poo poo. Need to clean up." Andrew pointed out the poo in almost every exhibit we saw. The only ones where he didn't talk about it were the ones where the poo was not visible (such as the butterfly exhibit).

However, we did see some lovely butterflies and Andrew found the monkeys very entertaining. The zoo has a large, walk-in bird cage full of lorikeets (a small type of parrot). So we bought some bird food for the lories and walk into the cage. I set the container of food down on a ledge and then showed Andrew how you can stroke the birds feathers. So Andrew goes to touch one of the birds and Adam says "Be gentle Andrew or they might bite you." At which point Andrew jumps back and refuses to come within 3 feet of a bird. Oh well.

All in all it was a good day. I love the zoo and hopefully Andrew will too. And if any one from the San Antonio Zoo is reading this, my son thinks you have a little cleaning to do.

Go sit in the corner

I was chatting with Andrew today on the way home from the grocery store and almost ran a red light. I noticed it just in time and was able to safely stop, but I commented to Andrew that I would have been in big trouble had I run the light.

My son promptly told me to go sit in the corner. Furthermore, he informed that I would not be allowed to watch Tom and Jerry tonite, that Andrew would be watching it all by himself because I was in big trouble.

It is a very strange thing to hear your own words coming out of your child's mouth and directed at you. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go sit in the corner.