I know, it has been months since I have blogged. But I am going to just skip over all of that for now (I will post about our recent adventures sometime soon) and get straight to today.
Now, I am forty years old. To most people that means I have a little bit of experience in this world and might know what I am talking about. My five year old would beg to differ. Today, he begged to differ loudly and repeatedly.
Spring/early summer has come to Texas and to Andrew that means it is swimming weather. Admittedly, we have had a few days close to ninety degrees and I have set up the sprinkler in the back yard and let him run through it.
For his recent birthday, one of Andrew's friends gave him a Banzai Wigglin' Water Sprinkler. You hook it up to your water hose, lay it out in an "s" pattern on the lawn, and when you turn it on, these little spouts on the Banzai Wigglin' Water Sprinkler wiggle around and shoot water everywhere.
Andrew has been dying to try it out and, since he is wearing shorts today, he decided it must be warm enough to play in the water. He was determined to play in that sprinkler today.
Admittedly, the weather today was lovely. At 5:30 this evening (when all this went down), it was 77 degrees outside with a lovely breeze. Nice for sitting on the back porch with a drink but way too cool to play in the water. I tried to explain this to my child. Repeatedly. But, apparently, he has decided Mommy is an idiot and doesn't know what she is talking about.
We argued about this for about 20 minutes. And finally, I had had enough. Now, when someone has been arguing with you for 20 minutes about something and suddenly reverses their position, you should be suspicious. Unfortunately for Andrew, he doesn't know this yet.
So I said, "Fine. Take off all of your clothes and come out into the back yard. I am going to spray you down with the hose and, if you think it's warm enough, you can play in the sprinkler."
Andrew let out a whoop of joy and began stripping off his clothes. Adam looked at me like I had lost my mind and said "Are you serious?" I informed him I was serious and asked him to get a towel.
Well, you can imagine what happened next. Andrew ran out into the back yard butt naked, I turned the hose on him (c'mon people, not in the face--strictly from the waist down) and he burst into tears and after running around the yard for a minute or so wailing like a banshee, accused me of being mean. And grabbed the towel from his dad.
Maybe next time he will believe me when I tell him it's too cold to go swimming...? Not likely.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
The Crazy Lady or B&N stinks
You may not know it but I have quite the temper. It is rare that I get truly worked up over something, but when I do, I am liable to go ape-s**t crazy. And unfortunately, when I get that worked up, I will start firing questions at you where any answer you give makes you look like an idiot. Adam has seen this in action just once and said it was quite impressive.
Well, I got that worked up yesterday and today. Let me tell you what happened.
For five years, I have been reading a book series. It was a five book series, one book released a year. Book four left with a cliff-hanger, did the main character accidentally kill her biggest ally and the man she loved? I have been waiting over a year to find out. The book was released yesterday, January 18.
I had planned for this release. I pre-ordered the book on December 19th from Barnes and Noble using a gift card I had received for Christmas. I planned to read all day and Adam was on notice that dinner would be something I could throw together in 30 minutes. And the master stroke, I ordered an electronic version of the book for my Nook so I could download the book before the stores were even open and begin reading.
So, yesterday I got up at 5:23 am and opened my Nook. My book was not there. I checked on-line, I could not down load my book. At 7 a.m. (8 a.m. in New York), I called the customer service number. I get a representative who informs me my credit card was declined. I paid with a gift card I replied and the gift card has been debited. I have the receipt. Oh, says the rep. After a little more back and forth, the rep credits my gift card and then recharges the book. Then tells me my book should be available for down load in several hours. I am not happy, but ok.
So, at 2 p.m. (seven hours later), I call Barnes and Noble back. And you know what they tell me? My credit card has been declined. I paid with a gift card, twice, there is no way my credit card was declined because I didn't use a credit card. After arguing with the rep for a few minutes, I ask to speak to a manager. Forty-five minutes later (I am tenacious), I finally get to speak to a manager. His name is Mike. Mike tells me Barnes and Noble has a "known problem" with their computer system rejecting on-line purchases made with a gift card. You have had a known problem for a month with your computer system and you haven't developed a fix for it? He will get a system administrator to work on the problem, it will be their top priority, and he will call me back by 3 p.m. on Wednesday to make sure the problem has been resolved.
Well guess what? Three o'clock today rolls around and Mike hasn't called me back. I again call Barnes and Noble back, I refuse to speak to the customer service rep and ask to speak to Mike. They don't know who Mike is. Ok, then I need to speak to a manager. Jeff, the new manager tells me it will be 48 hours before I can download the book. I ordered the book a month ago! I need to speak to his manager. He transfers me to Anna, I wait on hold for almost an hour and a half before Anna gets on the line. Anna can do nothing for me. Ok, then I need to speak to her manager.
Poor, poor Anna. She tells me she is the highest supervisor at her facility. There is no manager above her. I inform Anna that someone hired her and that's the person I want to speak to. Silence greets me. Finally, she tells me she can't give me any numbers. So I asked to be transferred to the corporate office. She can't do that. Then give me a phone number for the corporate office. She can't do that. Finally, frustrated beyond belief, I end the call.
Unbeknownst to Anna, I did a little googling while on hold (what else was I going to do?) and found the phone number of for the Vice President of Public Affairs for Barnes and Noble, Ms. Mary Ellen Keating. I called Ms. Keating's office and got her voice mail (it was 5:45 in New York), the message included her cell phone number. I resisted the urge to call her cell (I know, I am the epitome of restraint), but instead left her a message asking her to call me.
So... do you think Ms. Keating will return my call tomorrow?
Well, I got that worked up yesterday and today. Let me tell you what happened.
For five years, I have been reading a book series. It was a five book series, one book released a year. Book four left with a cliff-hanger, did the main character accidentally kill her biggest ally and the man she loved? I have been waiting over a year to find out. The book was released yesterday, January 18.
I had planned for this release. I pre-ordered the book on December 19th from Barnes and Noble using a gift card I had received for Christmas. I planned to read all day and Adam was on notice that dinner would be something I could throw together in 30 minutes. And the master stroke, I ordered an electronic version of the book for my Nook so I could download the book before the stores were even open and begin reading.
So, yesterday I got up at 5:23 am and opened my Nook. My book was not there. I checked on-line, I could not down load my book. At 7 a.m. (8 a.m. in New York), I called the customer service number. I get a representative who informs me my credit card was declined. I paid with a gift card I replied and the gift card has been debited. I have the receipt. Oh, says the rep. After a little more back and forth, the rep credits my gift card and then recharges the book. Then tells me my book should be available for down load in several hours. I am not happy, but ok.
So, at 2 p.m. (seven hours later), I call Barnes and Noble back. And you know what they tell me? My credit card has been declined. I paid with a gift card, twice, there is no way my credit card was declined because I didn't use a credit card. After arguing with the rep for a few minutes, I ask to speak to a manager. Forty-five minutes later (I am tenacious), I finally get to speak to a manager. His name is Mike. Mike tells me Barnes and Noble has a "known problem" with their computer system rejecting on-line purchases made with a gift card. You have had a known problem for a month with your computer system and you haven't developed a fix for it? He will get a system administrator to work on the problem, it will be their top priority, and he will call me back by 3 p.m. on Wednesday to make sure the problem has been resolved.
Well guess what? Three o'clock today rolls around and Mike hasn't called me back. I again call Barnes and Noble back, I refuse to speak to the customer service rep and ask to speak to Mike. They don't know who Mike is. Ok, then I need to speak to a manager. Jeff, the new manager tells me it will be 48 hours before I can download the book. I ordered the book a month ago! I need to speak to his manager. He transfers me to Anna, I wait on hold for almost an hour and a half before Anna gets on the line. Anna can do nothing for me. Ok, then I need to speak to her manager.
Poor, poor Anna. She tells me she is the highest supervisor at her facility. There is no manager above her. I inform Anna that someone hired her and that's the person I want to speak to. Silence greets me. Finally, she tells me she can't give me any numbers. So I asked to be transferred to the corporate office. She can't do that. Then give me a phone number for the corporate office. She can't do that. Finally, frustrated beyond belief, I end the call.
Unbeknownst to Anna, I did a little googling while on hold (what else was I going to do?) and found the phone number of for the Vice President of Public Affairs for Barnes and Noble, Ms. Mary Ellen Keating. I called Ms. Keating's office and got her voice mail (it was 5:45 in New York), the message included her cell phone number. I resisted the urge to call her cell (I know, I am the epitome of restraint), but instead left her a message asking her to call me.
So... do you think Ms. Keating will return my call tomorrow?
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Have a Holley, Jolly Christmas
Christmas this year was a little...abnormal, but great none the less. We celebrated Christmas with my brother and sister-in-law on Dec. 11 and with Adam's parents two days later. As a result, Andrew was a little confused about exactly when Christmas was and asked each day if he was going to get to open presents today. But when Christmas finally arrived, it was great.
My parents came over on Christmas Eve and spent the night with us. My family always celebrated on Christmas Eve. So we had our big meal on Christmas Eve, let Andrew open one gift, and watched some Christmas movies. Then sent the boy off to bed.
The next morning, Andrew jumps into bed with Grandma and Grandpa at 4:45 am (people that is early) and announces the Santa has been there. So we all get up and discover that Santa Claus has not only visited but left snowy footprints from the fireplace to the Christmas tree (magic snow, doesn't melt and tastes like flour).
And then, my wonderful baby boy did the most amazing thing of all. He pulls a package out from the back of the tree and commands me to open it. The first thing he wanted to do was watch me to open the gift he had made for me. And when I opened it, it was a painting of a flower he had made for me in a frame he and his daddy had made. It was the one of the most wonderful moments in my life and made me cry. After giving me a hug and a kiss, Andrew asked where his gifts were. And then the gift opening orgy began.
We spent the rest of the day in our pajamas, playing with Andrew's new toys. It was a wonderful Christmas.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Letting Go
I love Christmas. It is without a doubt my favorite time of the year and I love decorating the house for it. But I am a wee bit of a perfectionist when it comes to some things (it is a family trait), and one thing I have always insisted on is a perfectly decorated Christmas tree.
Now, you may not know that there are rules for decorating a Christmas tree. Yes, very strict rules. Rule number one is to put the light on the tree first. I mean every one knows that, that is Christmas Tree Decorating 101. If you own a Christmas tree that is pre-lit (like me), you can skip this part.
And for most people, that's where the rules stop. You throw the ornaments on and your finished. That is not the case for the individual in search of the perfectly decorated tree. The next step is to put on your garland, draping it jauntily across the branches. I tend to go for strings of red, wooden beads or rolls of ribbon or, if I am feeling ambitious, both.
Next, is solid colored, round ornaments. I am talking your garden variety Christmas balls. Mine happen to be red and silver. These should be placed midway back on the branch, nestled with in the tree (never on the branch tips). This gives your Christmas tree some dimension.
Finally, comes the decorative ornaments (your santas, snowmen, angels, etc). These are placed on the tips of the branches and you should take care to distribute like kind evenly around the tree. For example, my 20+ santa ornaments should be sprinkled all over the tree, never clustered close together. And yes, I have multiple classes of ornaments (the one my grandmother made, santas, snowmen, ornaments collected on trips, etc.).
Now, poor Adam has run afoul of the "rules" so many times he finally gave up and just lets me decorate the tree. I am fine with that. But this year, something had to give. With the recent surgery, I was just not up to decorating the perfect Christmas tree, physically or psychologically. I was too tired and I could not lift or stretch. On top of that, I have a four-year old who has been clamoring for days to decorate the Christmas tree. I had no choice, I had to let go.
So last night, Adam, Andrew and I decorated the Christmas tree. My dear, dear husband offered to drape the Christmas tree with the red, wooden beads, but honestly, I just wanted the darn thing decorated and that takes too long. So we just went to throwing on the ornaments. Adam and Andrew did put the solid red and silver balls on first and Adam did his best to make sure they were farther back on the branches. And then we started throwing on the ornaments.
Andrew worked twice as fast as his mother and father, so there are a large number of ornaments near the bottom of the tree. About half way through, we allowed him to climb up the ladder (with Adam's assistance) to hang ornaments. After that, he had to climb the ladder every time to hang ornaments, so there are a large number of ornaments in the middle section of the tree. The top of the tree, which was only reachable by Adam, is a little sparse. It is far from a perfectly decorated Christmas tree.
This morning, Andrew and I were preparing to go out front to get the newspaper and, on a whim, I flipped on the lights on the Christmas tree.
Andrew, with awe in his voice, said "Mommy, we have a beautiful Christmas tree."
And I have to agree with him, we do have a beautiful Christmas tree.
Now, you may not know that there are rules for decorating a Christmas tree. Yes, very strict rules. Rule number one is to put the light on the tree first. I mean every one knows that, that is Christmas Tree Decorating 101. If you own a Christmas tree that is pre-lit (like me), you can skip this part.
And for most people, that's where the rules stop. You throw the ornaments on and your finished. That is not the case for the individual in search of the perfectly decorated tree. The next step is to put on your garland, draping it jauntily across the branches. I tend to go for strings of red, wooden beads or rolls of ribbon or, if I am feeling ambitious, both.
Next, is solid colored, round ornaments. I am talking your garden variety Christmas balls. Mine happen to be red and silver. These should be placed midway back on the branch, nestled with in the tree (never on the branch tips). This gives your Christmas tree some dimension.
Finally, comes the decorative ornaments (your santas, snowmen, angels, etc). These are placed on the tips of the branches and you should take care to distribute like kind evenly around the tree. For example, my 20+ santa ornaments should be sprinkled all over the tree, never clustered close together. And yes, I have multiple classes of ornaments (the one my grandmother made, santas, snowmen, ornaments collected on trips, etc.).
Now, poor Adam has run afoul of the "rules" so many times he finally gave up and just lets me decorate the tree. I am fine with that. But this year, something had to give. With the recent surgery, I was just not up to decorating the perfect Christmas tree, physically or psychologically. I was too tired and I could not lift or stretch. On top of that, I have a four-year old who has been clamoring for days to decorate the Christmas tree. I had no choice, I had to let go.
So last night, Adam, Andrew and I decorated the Christmas tree. My dear, dear husband offered to drape the Christmas tree with the red, wooden beads, but honestly, I just wanted the darn thing decorated and that takes too long. So we just went to throwing on the ornaments. Adam and Andrew did put the solid red and silver balls on first and Adam did his best to make sure they were farther back on the branches. And then we started throwing on the ornaments.
Andrew worked twice as fast as his mother and father, so there are a large number of ornaments near the bottom of the tree. About half way through, we allowed him to climb up the ladder (with Adam's assistance) to hang ornaments. After that, he had to climb the ladder every time to hang ornaments, so there are a large number of ornaments in the middle section of the tree. The top of the tree, which was only reachable by Adam, is a little sparse. It is far from a perfectly decorated Christmas tree.
This morning, Andrew and I were preparing to go out front to get the newspaper and, on a whim, I flipped on the lights on the Christmas tree.
Andrew, with awe in his voice, said "Mommy, we have a beautiful Christmas tree."
And I have to agree with him, we do have a beautiful Christmas tree.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Here Today, Gone Tomorrow
There is nothing like a small emergency in your life to make you really appreciate your family and friends. For example, this past weekend, when I unexpectedly had surgery to remove my gall bladder. On Thanksgiving day, I had no idea there was anything wrong with my gall bladder, by Saturday evening, it was gone. And I would have never made it through without my family and friends.
It all started Thanksgiving Day with what I thought was heartburn. When the heartburn was still bothering me on Friday, I went to minor emergency. That was where I got the first inkling I was going to lose my gall bladder sooner or later, but honestly, I thought I would have more time to say good bye. While the doctor was sure I had gall stones, I needed an ultrasound to verify it and all of the radiology centers were closed. The doctor sent me home with some vicodin, a list of instructions, and a warning that the gall bladder was probably coming out the next week. Hah!
When I started getting sick Saturday morning, I knew my time together with my gall bladder was coming to an end. I gave my parents a warning call and then called the doctor at minor emergency. Yes, he said, it was time to go to the emergency room. I called my parents, who already had their pajamas packed, and waited them to show up to watch Andrew. I do have to give a big thank you to my parents. Adam and I did not want to take Andrew to the emergency room because we did not want him to get upset but I needed Adam with me in case I got upset. Mom and Dad dropped everything and were at our house within 35 minutes of my call. As far as Andrew was concerned, he was getting to spend a fun weekend with his grandparents and I never had to worry about my child.
Within an hour and a half after our arrival at Round Rock Medical Center, Adam and I knew my gall bladder was coming out. With some morphine (lovely stuff) and some valium (even lovelier), I made it until 2:00 pm when they wheeled me back to the surgery room. The next few hours are blurry but when I finally came around, I was missing one of my non-essential organs.
I came home Sunday and have been well taken care of since. I have to give thanks to my parents and Adam's parents for watching Andrew during these days of recovery. Oddly enough, I am just not up to watching Andrew right now, shocking I know. I also have to thank our family and our friends for feeding us. I can not get it together to cook right now and the boys can eat only so many hot dogs.
So all you girls out there (because gall stones affect mostly women), if you are experiencing really bad heartburn and are in your 30's, have your gall bladder checked out. You never know. It could be here today and gone tomorrow.
It all started Thanksgiving Day with what I thought was heartburn. When the heartburn was still bothering me on Friday, I went to minor emergency. That was where I got the first inkling I was going to lose my gall bladder sooner or later, but honestly, I thought I would have more time to say good bye. While the doctor was sure I had gall stones, I needed an ultrasound to verify it and all of the radiology centers were closed. The doctor sent me home with some vicodin, a list of instructions, and a warning that the gall bladder was probably coming out the next week. Hah!
When I started getting sick Saturday morning, I knew my time together with my gall bladder was coming to an end. I gave my parents a warning call and then called the doctor at minor emergency. Yes, he said, it was time to go to the emergency room. I called my parents, who already had their pajamas packed, and waited them to show up to watch Andrew. I do have to give a big thank you to my parents. Adam and I did not want to take Andrew to the emergency room because we did not want him to get upset but I needed Adam with me in case I got upset. Mom and Dad dropped everything and were at our house within 35 minutes of my call. As far as Andrew was concerned, he was getting to spend a fun weekend with his grandparents and I never had to worry about my child.
Within an hour and a half after our arrival at Round Rock Medical Center, Adam and I knew my gall bladder was coming out. With some morphine (lovely stuff) and some valium (even lovelier), I made it until 2:00 pm when they wheeled me back to the surgery room. The next few hours are blurry but when I finally came around, I was missing one of my non-essential organs.
I came home Sunday and have been well taken care of since. I have to give thanks to my parents and Adam's parents for watching Andrew during these days of recovery. Oddly enough, I am just not up to watching Andrew right now, shocking I know. I also have to thank our family and our friends for feeding us. I can not get it together to cook right now and the boys can eat only so many hot dogs.
So all you girls out there (because gall stones affect mostly women), if you are experiencing really bad heartburn and are in your 30's, have your gall bladder checked out. You never know. It could be here today and gone tomorrow.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Only on Wednesdays
Andrew's grasp of time is tenuous at best. So we have been working on understanding measurements of time. We have a calendar on the refrigerator and we talk about what day of the week it is and when we are doing certain things. On Monday, we go to the grocery store, Wednesdays are swimming lessons, and on Saturdays, we watch football. I wasn't sure Andrew was getting this lesson until last week.
"Andrew, you need to take off your pajamas and put on your clothes."
"No Mommy, only on Wednesdays."
"Excuse me," I said.
"I only change my clothes on Wednesday."
And since then, that has been his response to everything.
"Andrew, would you like spaghetti for dinner tonite?""
"Only on Wednesday."
"You need to pick up your toys Andrew."
"Only on Wednesday."
"Andrew, it's time to take a bath."
"No. I take a bath only on Wednesday." (Ok, he definitely did not win that one. Our kid is not the Pigpen of his class. At least, I don't think he is.)
And yes, I even heard:
"Andrew, would you like to go get doughnuts for breakfast this morning."
"I only eat doughnuts on Wednesdays."
"Andrew, you need to take off your pajamas and put on your clothes."
"No Mommy, only on Wednesdays."
"Excuse me," I said.
"I only change my clothes on Wednesday."
And since then, that has been his response to everything.
"Andrew, would you like spaghetti for dinner tonite?""
"Only on Wednesday."
"You need to pick up your toys Andrew."
"Only on Wednesday."
"Andrew, it's time to take a bath."
"No. I take a bath only on Wednesday." (Ok, he definitely did not win that one. Our kid is not the Pigpen of his class. At least, I don't think he is.)
And yes, I even heard:
"Andrew, would you like to go get doughnuts for breakfast this morning."
"I only eat doughnuts on Wednesdays."
Friday, November 12, 2010
Who Are You and What Did You Do with My Husband?
I loooooove Christmas. It is my favorite holiday of the year. And I see no reason to confine it to one month. I am already listening to Christmas carols. Adam disagrees with me. He firmly believes that there should be no hint of Christmas until after Thanksgiving.
For 11 years, Adam and I have waged a battle over when I can break out the Christmas decorations. This has led to me surreptitiously slipping Christmas decorations out during the month of November. If he doesn't notice the Santa on the mantle he can't really complain about it, can he?
We have also have a running argument about snowmen. I say snowmen are winter decorations, not Christmas decorations and thus eligible for display. My snowmen coffee mugs make an early appearance in our house. Adam, of course, disagrees.
Until today.
Yesterday evening, Adam and Andrew packed up all the Halloween decorations and moved them into the attic. Andrew loved the Halloween decorations and told Adam he wanted to put up the Christmas decorations. Two weeks before Thanksgiving.
This morning, Adam asked me if Andrew and I were going to put up Christmas decorations today.
Are you kidding me? Who are you and what have you done with my husband?
I fight for 11 years and get nothing. Andrew asks once and Adam completely shifts his position.
I should refuse on principle...
But I'm not stupid. No, sirreee. I am putting up Christmas decorations today.
For 11 years, Adam and I have waged a battle over when I can break out the Christmas decorations. This has led to me surreptitiously slipping Christmas decorations out during the month of November. If he doesn't notice the Santa on the mantle he can't really complain about it, can he?
We have also have a running argument about snowmen. I say snowmen are winter decorations, not Christmas decorations and thus eligible for display. My snowmen coffee mugs make an early appearance in our house. Adam, of course, disagrees.
Until today.
Yesterday evening, Adam and Andrew packed up all the Halloween decorations and moved them into the attic. Andrew loved the Halloween decorations and told Adam he wanted to put up the Christmas decorations. Two weeks before Thanksgiving.
This morning, Adam asked me if Andrew and I were going to put up Christmas decorations today.
Are you kidding me? Who are you and what have you done with my husband?
I fight for 11 years and get nothing. Andrew asks once and Adam completely shifts his position.
I should refuse on principle...
But I'm not stupid. No, sirreee. I am putting up Christmas decorations today.
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